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Joke of the Day
"Do you have holes in your socks? You don't? Then how do you put your feet in?"
Next Joke
"""How do you perform mediation?"" ""Meditation? Uuuummmmmmm........"""
"How do you get a musician off your porch? Pay for the pizza."
"The best things in life require no pants."
"What do you call a building you can't locate? A warehouse"
"Advice for all girls: You catch more flies with honey than with vinegar. But you catch the most flies with corpses."
"Girl, are you an umbrella? Because you're never with me when I need you & I've forgotten you at a restaurant 4 or 5 times."
"Mom is coming to town. I get three full days of mouthing apologies to waiters."
"Some people should be dipped in vagisil Maybe then they wouldn't be such irritating cunts"
"If I ever only have 3 months to live, I want my ex wife to be with me. That would be the longest 3 months of my life."