196046

Joke of the Day

"Me: ""I'm thinking about running a marathon again"" Her: ""Wow, you have ran a marathon before?"" Me: ""No, but I have thought about it."""

"When I was a kid, we were so poor... If I didn't wake up with a boner on Christmas, I wouldn't have anything to play with."

"Do you guys remember 10 years ago, when all the people with gluten allergies were dying in the streets like diseased cattle?"

"I know a great knock knock joke But you have to start it."

"I had a wooden whistle... And it wooden whistle. So, I got a steel whistle and it steel wooden whistle. Finally I got a tin whistle, now I tin whistle."

"BREAKING: Barack Obama just elected President of the US - Sent from Internet Explorer"

"First boy: My dad saw a horrible witch and didn't turn a hair! Second boy: I'm not surprised - your dad's bald!"

"Kidnapping is the most misleading term ever I've had these kids in my trunk for an hour and I can't get them to stop screaming let alone nap"

"Men, what's worse than Satan himself? Satan herself"

"What are the advantages of living in Switzerland? Well the flag for one is a big plus. Badum tss."