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Joke of the Day

"Why was the zombie in such a rush to get to his book signing? He had deadlines to meet"

"My mate said he met a prostitute who connected a battery charger to his balls. I said, ""Fucking hell, How much did she charge you?"""

"My new Toyota is going to featured in a film! They call it a Camryo."

"""You think only God can judge you?"" *Judge Judy spins around in chair to face you* ""Well THINK AGAIN!"" *bangs gavel so hard it breaks*"

"Remember your elementary gym ""coach""? I should've worked out more for his girlfriend"

"What's the difference between a feminist and a knife? The knife has a point. P.s: please don't kill me feminists, it's just a joke"

"If it walks and talks like Stephen Hawking... It's probably not Stephen Hawking."

"how many cooks does it take to change a lightbulb? one, and nine to stand around and say how they did it at their old job...."

"Doctor's Office Roses are red Violets are blue I have an uncomfortable Bladder issue"

"How come when a child shouts ""This is dumb"" at a wedding it's considered cute, but when I do it, I'm immediately replaced by another priest?"