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Joke of the Day

"Why was the zombie in such a rush to get to his book signing? He had deadlines to meet"

"I went out for dinner last night. The Captain's Basket was on special for $7.00. I tried it just for the halibut."

"Startup idea Dating app for pedophiles, Kinder. [huh?](/s ""Yiddish for 'children'. Also, 'pssss, wanna buy a startup?'"")"

"I'm at my classiest when my neighbor catches me begging my dog to shit faster because it's cold."

"Why did the Dalai Lama go to Las Vegas? Tibet"

"How do you call a judge that only gives innocent veredicts because he gave up on law school and knows nothing? a quitter."

"What does a cannibal do after he dumps his girlfriend? He wipes."

"I'd like to tell you guys another dick joke but nah, it's too long"

"The cops showed up earlier saying my dog was chasing some kid on a bike.. I was like that's ridiculous, my dog can't ride a bike"

"How much space does the EU have left? 1GB"