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Joke of the Day

"If it walks and talks like Stephen Hawking... It's probably not Stephen Hawking."

"What did the one tampon say to the other tampon? nothing, theyre both stuck up cunts edit: special thanks to justinjoytheride"

"The Boy In The Striped Pyjamas (Spoilers) Near the end of the book I think Bruno felt pretty gassed."

"NyQuil: Because who doesn't like to dream about your cat turning into your dog and your dog taking you for a walk and picking up your poop."

"Batman stands high on a ledge over Gotham... ""This is high. How did I get up here again? This is fun, I'm fun. I'm dressed up like a bat."""

"Relationship status: The pizza is late and I'm worried"

"Outside, contemplating life, love, and happiness and if I should tell the neighbor that his kid has been stuck in a tree for three hours."

"Women have a good 6th sense. I smiled at a girl in the mall once. When I got home I opened the door and my wife met me with a drop kick."

"Why are dockhands never featured in Miley Cyrus music videos? Because they're port workers."

"Moist people aren't offended by the occasional typo."