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Joke of the Day

"Judas: The one I kiss is Jesus Christ. Soldier: You can just point to him. Judas: (putting on lip-balm) I don't tell you how to do your job."

"What do you call a Mexican who has just lost his car? Carlos"

"Hey guys! Remember the golden rules this festive season, when shopping in crowded places; 1/Walk slow 2/Stop for no reason 3/Repeat above"

"What do you call two gay Irishmen? Michael Fitzpatrick...and Patrick Fitzmichael"

"Why do aspirins work? Because they're white."

"I took my girlfriend to a baseball game. I kissed her between every strike.... and she kissed me between the balls."

"How can you tell if Michael Jackson has company? Q. How can you tell if Michael Jackson has company? A. There's a big wheel parked outside his house."

"What's Hitler's least favorite planet? Jupiter"

"God's first concept for a long-necked quadriped was just a rough giraffe."

"What do you call an aardvark in a frying pan? A lardvark!"