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Joke of the Day

"Hey guys! Remember the golden rules this festive season, when shopping in crowded places; 1/Walk slow 2/Stop for no reason 3/Repeat above"

"Why do elephants have 4 feet? Because in the animal kingdom 6 inches just wont do"

"My phone knows the word ""giveth"" but not the word ""fuck."" Perfectly useful for speaking to knights but not for describing what they did."

"Rafael Nadal got done by an Australian teenager today at Wimbledon. Rolf Harris is having raging fits of jealousy."

"What happened when The Pope went to Mount Olive? Popeye kicked his ass!"

"People are far too distrustful of chickens. They can't even cross the road without having their motives questioned."

"My girlfriend and I are fighting over my recent hair loss... I really hope it's just a rough patch"

"My friend firmly believes that he's a solute I think he's diluted"

"Did you hear about the dyslexic girl that developed bulimia? She ate a big meal then went to the bathroom and stuck her thumb up her ass."

"[ENEM] Complete: Hey ________ a) Jude b) I just met you c) There Delilah d) Soul sister e) Hey, you you, I don't like your girlfriend"