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Joke of the Day

"What's the rudest type of Elf? The GofuckyoursElf."

"We didn't like Granny sliding down the banister so we wrapped it with barbed wire. She didn't stop but it sure slows her up."

"Thinking of getting another bed just for all my laundry"

"I walked outside my house wearing my Saran Wrap suit, my neighbor said ""I always knew you were crazy, but now I can clearly see your nuts!"""

"Did you hear the joke about butter? No? I guess it didn't spread then"

"A committee has narrowed the search for a name for the newly hypothesised 9th planet. It's between Urpenis and Urvagina."

"How many possibilities does a man with no arms and legs have? Limbitless"

"I bet the Al Qaeda recruiting video is just footage of Americans waiting in line for cupcakes."

"I tried cocaine once It's not all it's cracked up to be."

"What do Hillary and Bill have in common? Both got screwed out of office"