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Joke of the Day

"We didn't like Granny sliding down the banister so we wrapped it with barbed wire. She didn't stop but it sure slows her up."

"What is the one thing you shouldn't do at a funeral? The corpse."

"Me: I'm happy right now. Life: Lol one sec"

"A guy goes into a Latvian bar with 3 potatoes Walks out with a female entourage that would make Hef proud."

"What do you get when cross the Dukes of Hazzard car with K.I.T.T. ? General Lee speaking."

"I know some scientists who worked on LIGO. I am so glad to gravitate around people who make waves."

"Imagine that you were tired of living in a police state and decided to leave Russia for good a while ago, and bought a small house in Crimea."

"The second best ""asm"" is ""sarc."""

"The worst thing about parallel parking is witnesses."

"So a cannibal was eating his sister- No, wait. It was a hillbilly..."