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Joke of the Day

"Thinking of getting another bed just for all my laundry"

"People r afraid of boogers. I bet u could rob a bank with a booger! Folks in the bank would back up! Police would be puzzled tho: A Bogger?!"

"Steven Tyler is aging pretty gracefully for a claymation skeleton who fell into a pile of feathers."

"Him: ...and I asked you out because you're smart and pret-WHY ARE YOU POKING ME WITH A STICK? Me: To see if you're real or if I'm just high"

"I'am drinking with my new GF and her gay friend from work. So there's 100% chance I'am getting laid and a 50% chance I'll like it."

"Chuck Norris joke, cause it's been a while Chuck Norris pull the pin in a grenade, threw it, killed 50 men, and then the grenade exploded."

"*opens door to show you my enormous stash of apples* ""The doctors will attack soon, and I will be the only one prepared."""

"What's the difference between a male and female table? A male table is made with hard wood."

"Him: Come check out my church! Me: Him: They play rock music! Me: Him: It's cool! Me: Does it have church in it? Him: Yes... Me: *click*"

"Deez Nutz He really has it in the bag."