222585

Joke of the Day

"What did the man say when he stopped piggybacking his fat friend? ""Man, it feels like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders!"""

"Statistics show that six out of seven dwarves aren't happy"

"Having sex in a elevator is... wrong on so many levels"

"I hit a kid with my car last night Then I realized it was only a goat."

"I just recently bought a used car and I took it back 2 days later. ""This car is useless. It doesn't go past 60 up a hill."" ""60 uphill is really good. What's wrong with that?"" ""I live at 74."""

"Why was the hipster so successful in the stock market? He invested before it was cool."

"When his brothel went out of business, what sign did the owner hang on the door? Beat it, We're closed."

"Cop: License and registration please. Me: Give me a second, I'm drunk. Cop: Sir, have you been drinking? Me: No."

"If you want your wife or girlfriend to listen and pay undivided attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep."

"I think my virginity is growing back."