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Joke of the Day

"When his brothel went out of business, what sign did the owner hang on the door? Beat it, We're closed."

"Naming your child ""Roger"" is fine, until you have to tell someone about it over a two-way radio."

"I hated facial hair at first, but then it grew on me!"

"Mom, what's an orgasm? I don't know, ask your dad."

"What's the Hitler Youth's favorite weather? Heil"

"Me: I should stop drinking Me: Why? Me: I dunno Me: You're awesome when you drink Me: Really? Me: Yeah Me: Thanks, me. You're alright"

"I wish No More Tangles shampoo would work on Christmas lights."

"What does a cat go to sleep on ? A caterpillow !"

"My wife... My wife just got kidnapped by a group of muslim cannibals. I'm not worried though, I heard muslims don't eat pigs."

"There's only one problem where tears are the solution... and that's forgetting to pack your contact lens cleaner."