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Joke of the Day

"Take me down to the paradise city where the grass is green and hey why did you bring all these goats they're eating this luscious grass."

"I was going to make a illegal immigrant joke But I wouldn't want to cross that border"

"My new favorite joke [Language] How do you get a little old lady to yell, ""Go fuck yourself!""? Get another little old lady to yell,""BINGO!"""

"Murphy asked Paddy... Murphy asked Paddy, ""What ringtone have you got?"" Paddy said, ""I've never really looked, but probably light brown"

"Me: look at these colorful leaves, fall is so beautiful Leaf: *cough* behold the desolation of my brothers *wheeze* death surrounds us all"

"""Here, let me fill your head with a bunch of opinionated bullshit that's not actually news"" - Every major news outlet"

"Men might stare at your tits and ass, but women buy a latex mold of a pen*s and keep it in their drawer. Who's creepy now?"

"How many therapists does it take to change a lightbulb? None, it's got to want to change first."

"Starting to believe that your family tree must've been cactus."

"What does a West Virginia couple do on Halloween? They pump kin."