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Joke of the Day

"My new favorite joke [Language] How do you get a little old lady to yell, ""Go fuck yourself!""? Get another little old lady to yell,""BINGO!"""

"What's the difference between a piano, a tuna fish, and a pot of glue? You can tuna piano, but you can't piano tuna. ... What about the pot of glue? I knew you'd get stuck."

"How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a light bulb? Wanna go ride bikes?"

"How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram."

"Pack of polos for sale still in the wrapper Mint condition Pack of polos for sale, still in the wrapper. Mint condition"

"""Um, here's a crazy idea, how about finishing the wall mural in the baby's room?"" - Banksy's wife"

"""My phone's about to die."" -Me, 30 seconds into every phone call."

"What do you call a cowboy with a case of bad gas? Darn tootin'! (this is so dumb im sorry)"

"""Honey did you put a dead rattlesnake in my boot?"" Oh it died?"

"Whenever someone tells me they get a ""high"" from running, all I'm thinking is, ""You've obviously never been high before."""