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Joke of the Day

"When I'm in an elevator with a stranger I generally hold their hand to let them know that they're safe"

"I opened the microwave without knocking and caught my hot dogs touching tips."

"Curveball What is black, bitter and dont work worth a damn? . . . . Decaf coffee."

"So my friend told me I don't understand the meaning of irony... It was ironic because I was sitting on a park bench."

"Jehovah's Witness don't celebrate Halloween I guess they don't appreciate random people knocking on their door"

"Be nice to people because you never know when you'll a need character witness."

"My girlfriend and I are always laughing about how competitive we are. I laugh more."

"I tried to convert to Judaism, but they rejected me when they found out I was uncircumcised. I guess I just didn't make the cut."

"If the Discovery Channel's new show 'Naked And Afraid' isn't about Mormon honeymoons, I'm not interested."

"Has anyone heard of the movie 'Constipation'? No because it hasn't come out yet. Huehuehuehuehue"