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Joke of the Day

"So my friend told me I don't understand the meaning of irony... It was ironic because I was sitting on a park bench."

"Jokes about German sausage are the wurst."

"I have a tenuous grasp on the English language. Shakespeare? That dude's grasp on the English language was, like... twelveuous."

"What's the difference between someone who doesn't use their turn signal and Hitler? You know Hitler will turn Reich."

"A laptop made in the United States is a portable device. A laptop made in Mexico is a deportable device."

"The noblest of dogs is the hot dog, it feeds the hand that bites it."

"What did Marshawn Lynch say when he went to traffic school? I'm just here so I won't get fined."

"If you want me to save a horse and ride a cowboy, you better spare a tree and eat a beaver."

"How can you tell if a potato is baked? It's [eyes](http://i.imgur.com/KwCyY.jpg) are all red and glossy."

"Me: k well my phones gonna die so I'll ttyl Mom: But ur office is a landline? Me: oh...so it is....K well the building is on fire, sooo ttyl"