1742

Joke of the Day

"So my friend told me I don't understand the meaning of irony... It was ironic because I was sitting on a park bench."

"[wakes up from coma I went into in 1908] so how many more World Series titles have the Cubs won?"

"Why don't blind people skydive? It scares the fuck out of the dogs."

"What's the ultimate rejection? When you're masturbating and your hand falls asleep."

"Why does the little mermaid wear sea-shells? She grew out of her b-shells"

"What's the definition of a masochist with necrobeastiality tendencies? Someone who literally gets off beating a dead horse."

"I took my first drug test today.. I only got 5 questions right."

"Why is it called taking a shit? Cuz no one wants to say they're giving a shit."

"Dis'se I've contracted a disease."

"I feel bad for kids in wheelchairs. I bet they get pushed around a lot."