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Joke of the Day

"I tried to convert to Judaism, but they rejected me when they found out I was uncircumcised. I guess I just didn't make the cut."

"A man was looking under a microscope . He couldn't see anything. Suggest a reason why. He was blind..."

"What gets longer when pulled, fits between breasts, inserts neatly in a hole, and works best when jerked? A seatbelt"

"""Try it, it's so good!"" ""Come on, man. Just a taste."" ""I'm having some. Mmmm."" ""Trust me."" Feeding my 2yo makes me feel like a drug dealer."

"How did the native find his sister in the woods? Pretty good!"

"Hope Rod Stewart knows that Maggie May stopped listening to the song when he sang, ""The morning sun in your face really shows your age."""

"I'm glad there isn't a pop quiz every time I claim to have read something."

"My girlfriend spends all her money on expensive perfumes.. I feel like she has no common scents."

"Can you say your strengths? ""Your strengths"" No like what are they ""My legs maybe"" No, like for work ""Oh lol sorry, idk prob communication"""

"what's a cheap, tasteless way to kill a werewolf? Coors Lite, the silver bullet"