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Joke of the Day

"What do you do when an epileptic is having a seizure in the bathtub? Throw your dirty laundry in there with some detergent."

"[Dirty] A man goes to a hooker... A man goes to a $10 hooker and contracts crabs. When he goes back to complain, the hooker laughs and says, ""What did you expect for $10? Lobsters ?"""

"What's up, girl? Do you like bad boys [kicks rug] or good guys [fixes rug]?"

"What's the difference between a blow job and anal sex? A blow job will make your day but anal sex will make your hole weak."

"I got a new cat from the inner city shelter. So far he seems fine, except for needing to go outside every hour for a cigarette."

"I parked in a disabled space today and a traffic warden shouted, ""Oi, what's your disability?"" I said, ""Tourettes! Now fuck off you c*nt!"""

"How do they dance in Arabia? Sheik-to-sheik (cheek)."

"Today at the grocery store, they only had one piece of cheese . . . . . . it was provolone."

"I just found out that my UPS guy is a monkey... ...and he's driving me bananas!"

"Did you guys read the book about the midget that hung himself with a belt? I heard it was top notch"