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Joke of the Day

"First day at gym and i've already lost 5kg. seriously, i have no idea where i misplaced those weights.."

"My dentist says to clean between your teeth after every meal. That's his flossophy."

"I would rather have Bill Cosby as President than Donald Trump.. because if America is gonna get fucked for 4 years I wanna be asleep when it happens."

"Sorry I'm late... I was at the hospital *cough* my boyfriend has tuberculosis."

"1 in 5 bosses will let you leave work early if you claim to have 'lady problems' then start crying. It works even better for guys."

"Pretty weird to think that in the future, there will be old people named 'Hailey' and 'Brayden' running around in vintage Twilight t-shirts."

"Why does an ethiopian baby cry? He's having a midlife crisis."

"Martin asked David ""In which state does the Ohio River run?"" David answered with cool ""In the liquid state."""

"What do you call an extremist group of water at 0 Degrees Celsius? ISIS"

"I will never eat at Chick-Fil-A because of its owner's bigotry. Thank god every other corporation is run by kind, forward-thinking people!"