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Joke of the Day

"What's up, girl? Do you like bad boys [kicks rug] or good guys [fixes rug]?"

"Was at the dentist the other day, he told me to say ""ahhhh"" I asked him why, he said his dog died - Tommy Cooper"

"Why do girls wear make-up and perfume? Because they're ugly and they smell bad."

"After watching today's Apple event, I can confirm the new iPhone will not be a failure. In fact, it'll be a huge 6S."

"[A giraffe walks into a scarf shop] *The managers eyes turn into dollar signs*"

"Giving birth is terrible for a cow's hips... ...but it's great for their calves."

"Knock Knock Who's there? 9/11 9/11 who? *sobbing* - You said you'd never forget."

"That one. ""that one."" says a booy. ""what do you mean?"" says another boy. ""oh, i was just answering your question."" ""what question?"" ""i already told you."""

"I hate how everybody is acting like they love this new pope so much and they're such big fans but probably can't even name 3 of his songs."

"My wife mentioned that she couldn't remember if she took her anti-anxiety medication. I asked if she was worried about it?"