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Joke of the Day

"I parked in a disabled space today and a traffic warden shouted, ""Oi, what's your disability?"" I said, ""Tourettes! Now fuck off you c*nt!"""

"Someone said to me today that my clothes are gay. I said yeah, they came out of the closet this morning."

"So /r/news and /r/The_Donald walk into a bar... [removed]"

"Indoor trash bin that keeps getting taller until someone finally decides to take it out."

"My girlfriend called me a racist I said that's an awfully big word for a midget."

"Whats hangs at a man's thigh and wants to poke the hole that it's often poked before.... A Key"

"What kind of pastry do you need a thesaurus to eat? Synonym rolls"

"How many karma whores does it take to change a lightbulb? 10: one to change it, one to post about it for karma and eight to repost it a few months later."

"Did you know that New York has two capitals? N and Y."

"What does a horny frog say? Rub it- rub it"