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Joke of the Day

"Excuse me? Do you work at Little Ceasars? Cuz Ur Hot And I'm Ready."

"What's the difference between a BMW and a porcupine? A porcupine has it's pricks on the outside!"

"Why did the elephant sit on the marshmallow? So he wouldn't fall into the hot chocolate."

"I can take two pieces of rope eat them wait an hour then shit them out tied together.... I shit you knot... ha shit you knot"

"'babe, i'm ready' -says my wife, from the bedroom 'be right there' -i say from the bathroom, trying furiously to untangle my yo-yo string"

"A ball boy has been sacked from the world cup after saying to Wayne Rooney, ""You can fuck off if you think I'm going looking for that one. """

"My girlfriend and I are both feminists But I'm better since I'm a guy"

"Isaac Newton's theory. Isaac Newton was outside trying to explains the forces of the world and then it hit him."

"Ate shrooms & I feel nothing. Just an awful taste in my mouth. Also the dealer overcharged me. Also he's a centaur with spiders for lips"

"What did one snowman say to the other? ""Weird...I smell carrots, too."""