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Joke of the Day

"Isaac Newton's theory. Isaac Newton was outside trying to explains the forces of the world and then it hit him."

"Dad, are ghosts real? Dad: No son, of course not Son: The nanny said they are Dad: Okay, pack your stuff... We don't have a nanny"

"What are four ways of spreading information that begins with ""tel""? Telephone, telegram, television, and tell a woman."

"My OCD brings all the boys to the yard, where they're sanitized and counted before I wash my hands of them."

"What illness makes you sneeze on your laptop screen? A computer virus!"

"What did Treebeard say when he took a piss? RELEASE THE RIVERRR!!!!!!!"

"A man's wife asks him: ""Have you ever considered having a threesome with me for a change?"" ""To be honest, having twosomes with you would be already be a change"""

"""I'll take movies for $500 Alex"" Tim Burton directed this dark tale starring Johnny Depp & Helena Bonham Carter ""You gotta be kidding me"""

"There are 10 types of people in this world, those who understand binary and those who don't."

"What do you get when you wreck a Honda Accord into a Saturn Ion? An Accordion. ...I'll, uh, see myself out."