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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a BMW and a porcupine? A porcupine has it's pricks on the outside!"

"Those first two guys who thought Superman was a bird or a plane...? What the fuck were they so excited about?"

"I've just been refused entry to the National Alzheimer's conference. ""Do you know who I am?"" I shouted."

"I can't stand those 'happy ending' massage parlors Those places just rub me the wrong way"

"It's that time of year I'm just going to say it now so I can say I said it first I'll see you guys next year Now shut the fuck up with that joke"

"A grasshopper hops into a bar... The bartender sees him and says ""Hey, we have a drink named after you."" The grasshopper looks up and says, ""You have a drink named Murray?"""

"Where did Sally go after the explosion? Everywhere."

"that awkward feeling. when you are sitting on the toilet and forgot to lock the door and your boss walks in... and your pants are up."

"What did the doctor say to the Fonz when he got sick? You need to take your vitamin Ayy."

"I met my girlfriend on 11/1/14... But it's now 12/31/15. She's destroyed my KDA this game."