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Joke of the Day

"'babe, i'm ready' -says my wife, from the bedroom 'be right there' -i say from the bathroom, trying furiously to untangle my yo-yo string"

"I got into an argument with my parents about video games. It was a stupid reason to fallout for."

"I spend an awful lot of time picking the most desirable potato chips out of the bag for someone who's going to eat them all anyway."

"What do you call a Mexican melon? A cantelopez! Came up with this on all by myself. I'm a new Dad, so I feel as if I've significantly leveled up my Dad Joke ability."

"astrology then: I seek the meaning of human life in the stars. astrology now: If Capricorns Were A Type Of Noodle, They Would Be Rigatoni."

"Trump will do the work of two men when elected... Key & Peel. Thanks Ronnie Corbett may you rest in piece."

"Want to know where to find the worst pun in Alberta? Call gary"

"How can you tell if you accidentally wandered into a gay bar? Everyone keeps offering to push your stool in"

"A woman's shoes say a lot about her feelings believe it or not. For example, if they're behind her ears, she likes you."

"I have a lettuce stuck up my ass But it's just the tip of the iceberg."