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Joke of the Day

"I got banned from B&Q in Glasgow today Some cunt came up to me in an orange apron and asked me if I wanted decking. Luckily I got the first punch in."

"What do you call a gorilla that got shot even though it didn't want to do anything wrong? King Kong"

"What do you get... When you donkey eats my roosters 2 feet? 2 feet of my cock in your ass!"

"A man works hard to name an interval equal to 24 hours. so he calls it a day."

"A psychic dwarf escaped an institution for the criminally insane... It took police weeks to track down the small medium at large."

"The Vietnamese place on my street has soup so popular they make you stand in a line to get it. It's a big pho queue."

"What do you call an actor from Alabama that is forced by contract to play a certain character in a production? Role tied."

"A little boy walks into a bar... he is treated for minor concussions... it's funny cause he's a minor, laugh"

"what do you call a magical dog? A Labracadabrador."

"Why would Helen Keller be a terrible driver? She's dead."