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Joke of the Day

"What do you call an actor from Alabama that is forced by contract to play a certain character in a production? Role tied."

"[At Neiman Marcus] *looks at sales clerk* *holds up a Prada and a Burberry briefcase* I don't know...which one will hold more chicken nuggets?"

"What's the most awkward moment for Jesus during sex? When they scream his fathers name."

"Why does Highlander 2 exist? There can only be one."

"You know what's so great about a Yankee? It's like a quickie, but you do it yourself."

"Barney Stinson ask god ""God,why do you make woman so beautiful?"" ""So you'll love her"" God reply. ""Then why do you make them so dumb?"" ""So they'll love you"", *Ba dum tss*"

"What's the difference between Reddit and 4chan? One is a group of immature internet trolls....and the other thinks it isn't."

"Two fish are sitting in a tank. One looks over at the other and says: ""Hey, do you know how to drive this thing?"""

"I'm always creeped out by the guy who seems to know the age of consent laws a little too well."

"What do you get if you cross a radio music presenter with Match of the Day ? DDDDDDDDDDDDDJ !"