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Joke of the Day

"A psychic dwarf escaped an institution for the criminally insane... It took police weeks to track down the small medium at large."

"Ant: I found this book of what humans call us. I'm an ant Dung Beetle: What am I called? Ant: *checks, shuts book* Let's not focus on labels"

"What's black and is on top of the stairs? Stephen Hawking after a housefire."

"Say what you will about dung beetles... ...at least they have their shit together."

"What's the difference between feminists and sumo wrestlers Sumo wrestlers shave their legs"

"Where's the 'Alpha male' bint putting out a video that becomes famous for the line ""LEAVE JEREMY (Clarkson) ALONE!""?... In written form on every comment thread of every relative social media post."

"How much for the mirror? Ma'am that's the cover of Vogue"

"First line in frozen pizza instructions: DO NOT EAT FROZEN PIZZA W/OUT COOKING. It's almost like they know I'm the target demographic."

"""I must go,"" said my friend. ""Why?"" I asked. He said, ""I need to feed my baby hamsters."" I said, ""That's no way to raise a child."""

"So a guy calls into work and says, ""I can't come in today, I'm seeing spots."" ""Have you seen a doctor?"" ""No, just the spots."""