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Joke of the Day

"How many? How many flies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just two, but I have no idea how they got in there."

"St-t-t-t-top! Stamm-mm-m-m-mm-m-mer t-t-t-time!"

"You're never gonna believe this but Ben Carson's full name is Benghazi Carsonofsatan"

"Are you in the comments? 'cause the real joke is always in the comments."

"What did the neckbeard wizard use to find his way around Hogwarts? M'rauders Map"

"Why is Jesus happy people hang pictures of him? It only takes one nail to put him on a wall."

"I like my women the way I like my coffee in a basket being touched by many Colombian men."

"If a bunch of white people running down a hill is an avalanche, what is a bunch of black people running down a hill? A prison break."

"ME *sees baby crab in stroller*: He's so cute! I just wanna rip his lil legs off dip em in butter and eat them! MOM CRAB *beaming*: thank u"

"What did the egg say to the boiling water? ""I don't think I can get hard -- I just got laid this morning!"