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Joke of the Day

"ME *sees baby crab in stroller*: He's so cute! I just wanna rip his lil legs off dip em in butter and eat them! MOM CRAB *beaming*: thank u"

"Toilet won't stop throwing up. I didn't know it was Legos intolerant. SEND HELP THIS IS NOT A DRILL"

"Canada is 50% ""a"""

"What is the strongest animal? A racehorse because it can take hundreds of people for a ride at once!"

"Knock Knock. OPEN UP THE DOOR, ITS REAL WIT THE NON-STOP, POP POP AND STAINLESS STEEL!"

"Did you hear about the blonde who after watching the ballerinas wondered why they didn't get taller girls?"

"What do Derek Jeter and girls' asses have in common? They're both overrated bags of shit"

"Have you seen the new interview of John Cena? Yeah me neither.........."

"they'll never listen to us Wife: I lost my keys again Me: Its in your jeans Wife: Don't drag my family into this"

"What do you get when you cross my mom and my dad? I don't know but my dad said it was a mistake :D"