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Joke of the Day

"St-t-t-t-top! Stamm-mm-m-m-mm-m-mer t-t-t-time!"

"""Daddy what is a transvestite?"" ""Ask Mommy, he knows."""

"Did you hear about the man with five keen senses? He still lacked common and horse!"

"You see me driving 'round town with your Alzheimer's mom and she's like, forget you."

"Jamie Oliver says there's ""nothin worse in the world than an undercooked green bean"" I'll go out on a limb & say he doesn't watch the news."

"Why aren't lions cannibals? They can't swallow their pride."

"An apple a day does not keep the doctor away. Look at Steve Jobs."

"I can only imagine the sorts of crazy, sexy pictures of coffee that people are hiding in those ""private"" instagram accounts."

"It didn't take long for Japan to illustrate Rousey's knockout. See? http://imgur.com/NSLx1SZ EDIT: Link works now."

"Some guys beat me up with brass knuckles in broad daylight. It was a pretty brazen act of violence."