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Joke of the Day

"Why is Jesus happy people hang pictures of him? It only takes one nail to put him on a wall."

"They just discovered a lesbian dinosaur and are calling it... Lickalotapus."

"Had to pick my son up from school today He got caught being wanked off under the desk by someone in his class for the 3rd time this week! I said ""son, maybe teaching isn't the job for you!"""

"So a termite walks into a bar. He then proceeds to ask, ""where's the bar tender""?"

"What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas? GLOVES! Nah, just kidding. He still hasn't unwrapped his present."

"Has anyone tried watering old people? Maybe they just need to be watered."

"Pretend it's a beer... Pretend it's a beer... Pretend it's a beer... - Me trying not to drop a baby."

"I don't understand why the Catholic Church is so against gay pride After all, their central figure was nailed by four Roman guys."

"I hate when it rains cats and dogs.... I just stepped in a poodle."

"Woman: [blushing] I was told there wasn't a single werewolf left in the world. Werewolf: there isn't. I'm married."