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Joke of the Day

"I don't think I could date a deaf person... I couldn't take the silent treatment!"

"FUN FACT: Scientists have proven, there IS in fact life outside the United States."

"The inventor of the air conditioner has died Thousands of fans are attending his funeral"

"I like when Google answers my stupid questions because it means I'm not the only one asking Google stupid questions."

"If you want to use excessive force and get away with it too. Just join your local police force."

"How does a feminist screw in a light bulb? She holds the bulb up to the socket and then expects the world to revolve around her."

"Three drums and a cymbal rolled down a hill ba dum dum ching"

"[friend being eaten by a bear] *screaming violently* Me: Stay calm! Don't move so much! I'm trying to take a picture for snapchat!"

"[David Attenborough narrating my life] Once again the young offspring attempts to leave the nest. Once again he has flown into a wall"

"Which nut could pimp the Prince of Darkness? Mack-a-Dameon."