220910

Joke of the Day

"[friend being eaten by a bear] *screaming violently* Me: Stay calm! Don't move so much! I'm trying to take a picture for snapchat!"

"What is more dangerous than a polar bear? A bi-polar bear."

"What does Wolverine and Caitlin Jenner have in common? They're both X-Men."

"Chuck Norris originally wrote the first dictionary. The definition for each word is as follows - A swift roundhouse kick to the face."

"My coffee shop in Tokyo hasn't had many customers in the last couple of months... It's ok now though, people are starting to drift in."

"Why should you never trust an atom? They make everything up!"

"What do Mexican and Black people have in common? Once you've seen Juan, you've seen Jamal."

"Whats the difference between a coal mining company and the Catholic Church? A coal mining company puts miners in shafts not the other way around......."

"What do you and 1 ply toilet paper have in common? You BOTH eat *da*-booty!"

"Subway...I don't know whats worse.. What Jared did or you raising your Februany $5 footlong to 6$."