20051

Joke of the Day

"If you can read this please let me know because, it means I blocked the wrong person. I'm still getting used to this Stupid timeline!"

"When I bring you breakfast in bed, why can't you just say ""thank you""? ...instead of all this ""how did you get in to my house?"" calling 9-11 business."

"I held the door open for a clown today... ...it was a nice jester."

"So, #Dorners ID was found in San Diego a week ago and then unmelted in the burned down cabin? sounds legit."

"What's the difference between an apple an a dead baby? I don't cum on an apple before I eat it"

"The first rule of Mormon fight flub is go door to door talking about Mormon fight club ."

"Which snake is the best at counting Nigerians? A Black Adder"

"I didn't spend 8 years designing this hotel so I could listen to a bunch of touristy complaints about the small cameras inside the toilets."

"It was the Fourth of July The department I work in has a lot of people frm Turkey. My job is to fire people. I had to fire Turks."

"My son, 15, DOES NOT KNOW the name of the street we've lived on for 7 years. We are taking him to the vet to get micro-chipped."