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Joke of the Day

"I found out blowing in the dogs face makes her stop barking. I tried the same thing on my wife to make her stop yelling and she bit me."

Next Joke
 
"I wish I had half the determination and persistence of Adobe reader updater."
"Feminists hate me. Probabily because I am wearing my wife beater."
"I only drink on special occasions... Luckily for me, I just broke my record for consecutive days alive today"
"WHAT IS SEX? HUSBAND: A minute of PLEASURE, then years of PRESSURE! WIFE: Moments of ECSTASY, followed by decades of SLAVERY! MISTRESS: Just stolen TIME, but never MINE! HOOKER: NEXT!"
"At age 40 you gain the capacity to fall totally chemically head over heels in love with a refrigerator."
"When you get 3 out of 4, its... not half bad!"
"Did you hear about the new camouflage turban? It helps you hide and Sikh."
"I'll tell you what is bordering on the ridiculous... Canada."
"What did the Buddhist say to the hotdog vendor? Make me one with everything."