221981

Joke of the Day

"Two muffins in an oven. One looks at the other and says ""it's hot in here"". The other looks back and says "" holy shit a talkin muffin."""

"Not having any friends means I'm always the pretty one."

"I always avoid talking about bungee jumps when meeting new people... I just find it creates a lot of tension."

"How do you confuse a fish? You put it in a bowl and tell it go to a corner!"

"What was the butcher doing when he got caught? Beating his meat."

"I saw my buddy Barry Goldstein at the casino the other night. It was very un-jew-sual."

"I want to lose weight, but I don't want to get caught up in one of those 'eat right and exercise' fads."

"Last year my ex and I dressed as opposing political parties for Halloween... best hate sex we ever had."

"It's been discovered that protons have mass. Which is odd because I didn't even know they are Catholic."

"Why did the blind lady fall in a well? because she couldn't see that well"