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Joke of the Day

"I always avoid talking about bungee jumps when meeting new people... I just find it creates a lot of tension."

"Just once, I'd like to wake my girlfriend up with up with oral sex... ...but she never sleeps with her mouth open."

"Why does a Bicycle have a kickstand? Because it's two tired."

"My father always said to me ""son it's always best to fight fire with fire""... and that is probably why he was kicked out of the fire service"

"Whats the difference between jelly and jam? I can't jelly my dick down your throat"

"Frozen Joke Don't let it go here let it go else where you flithy badger!"

"i hate when the news guys say ""our nation's capital"". stop jerking us around and tell us what city it is"

"I really want to drive private or hired cars. But I don't have anything to chauffeur it."

"*holds flashlight under chin Me: suddenly the mystery of... Son: haha Dad has like 3 chins *drops flashlight Me: SANTA CLAUS IS FAKE!!"

"My son is screaming his head off in his room but there's no way I'm going in there if his monster reports are true."