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Joke of the Day

"I want to lose weight, but I don't want to get caught up in one of those 'eat right and exercise' fads."

"How long do you have to wait between naps?"

"Why are mountains so funny? Because they're hill areas....sorry I had to share this cheesy joke I just overheard my coworker tell."

"What do you do if you find a trumpet growing in your scottish garden? You root it ooot!"

"My ex-girlfriend had a parakeet That fucking thing would never shut up. The bird was pretty cool though."

"TIL grizzly bears are not harmed by microwave radiation. In fact, they are one among several species of non-polar bear!"

"Yo mama's like a brick..... dirty, flat on both sides, and always getting laid by Mexicans."

"Driver "" I'm very sorry to learn that your wife ran away with your driver "" said the friend to the old man. "" oh, don't worry, I can drive """

"Why did the writer not like his friends book? It wasn't his type."

"The three most read words in the world: I? ?L?o?v?e? ?Y?o?u? ...NO! It's: ""Made in China."""