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Joke of the Day

"So I told my girlfriend... ""Hey, wanna try anal?"" She lost her shit on me."

"Did you hear Gotye converted from Judaism to Catholicism? After realizing he didn't need to follow Jewish customs, he exclaimed to the rabbi, ""you didn't have to cut me off!"""

"Do I know any jokes about Sodium? Na"

"An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar... The number of occupants exceeds the maximum allowable number for fire safety, and thus the bartender throws them out."

"I stopped a girl from getting raped last week It wasn't very hard. I just stopped chasing her."

"A Chinese Man Does Stand-Up Comedy What is beautiful and delicious at the same time? Pussy"

"What do you get when you throw a Pokeball at a Pakistani? A Pakimon."

"I think I might be a genius! My nephew has a 12 piece jigsaw puzzle that says 3-5 years on the box and I managed to complete it in just 7 hours!"

"We should all give Earth a one star rating on TripAdvisor so hostile aliens won't want to come here."

"Why did the kid with muscular dystrophy want to be an astronaut, a doctor, a lawyer, and a NASCAR driver when he grew up? He had a lot of aspirations."