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Joke of the Day

"We should all give Earth a one star rating on TripAdvisor so hostile aliens won't want to come here."

"Sorry I used your baby's bald head as a lipstick blotter."

"Where did Sadam Hussein keep his CD collection? In Iraq."

"What do you call a female to male sex change? an addadicktomy."

"I was playing guitar then my 2 year old took my guitar pick and dropped it somewhere. ""Where is my pick,"" I said. He replied ""Oink Oink! "" I repeated the question but got the same answer every time."

"Watch as i slowly pull my shirt up over - wait, stuck in the too-small neckhole...struggling... Okay, dont watch."

"I'm starting to think my neighbor is a drug dealer... for one, he has like 10 cellphones... and secondly, he sells me drugs like everyday."

"Looks like Trump is going to lose the presidency I guess his erection is going cost him the election"

"I asked my cat ""Who is your favorite President of China?"" According to her it's Mao."

"Who needs viagra when there are pictures of old women with dyed orange hair and their eyebrows penciled in on the internet"