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Joke of the Day

"If wishes were fishes... ...life would be pretty crappie"

"Did you hear about the Asian guy who was so terrible that nobody mourned his death? He was unbereaveable."

"My ex owned a parakeet. The thing would never shut up. The bird was cool though."

"Me: I'm having a problem with my computer: IT guy: Have you tried punching it? Me: That's the first thing I tried. I'm not an idiot."

"What if condoms had temporary tattoos on the inside like you rolled off the condom and there was a picture of a dinosaur on your dick."

"What do you get when you give a duck a knife? A murder most fowl."

"What's the one thing pacifism and Hinduism have in common? Those who practice them don't want any beef with people."

"My mom laughed at me when I told her I was making a car out of spaghetti... you should have seen her face when I drove pasta!"

"If I was a drunk superhero, I'm pretty sure I'd be ""I Love You Man"""

"Roses are red. Violets are blue. If he's busy on Valentine's Day, the side chic is you."