194061
Joke of the Day
"My ex owned a parakeet. The thing would never shut up. The bird was cool though."
Next Joke
"A billionaire, a clown, and a presidential candidate walk into a bar... And the bartender says, ""How's it going, Donald?"""
"My wife has so many shoes the bedroom looks like the outside of a mosque."
"ME: [in g-string and hardhat] You sure this is what Boss meant by strip-mining? [A bat swoops down and tucks a crumpled bill into my thong]"
"Lif's too short"
"Cop: Do you know why I pulled you over Me: Idk, but could you move this along? I've had too much to drink and I really need to pee."
"I overheard a voyeur couple talk... ... about how they needed to start seeing other peepholes."
"What comes after 69? A funeral"
"Thank you all for the Happy Birthday wishes!!! Had a GREAT DAY!!! (didn't read a single one)"
"if anyone has reason for these two not to wed, speak now or forever hold y- [brides dad stands up] ""SHE BRUSHES HER TEETH WITH HOT WATER"""