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Joke of the Day

"If you fall, I'll be there. --- the floor."

"There's a website you can use to see if your family is racist. It's called Facebook"

"When my friend takes shrooms, he instantly becomes the life of the party. What a fungi to be around."

"I have to mispronounce 'Lincoln' and 'cologne' if I want to spell them correctly."

"How many feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb *thats not funny*"

"You're fat and you need to diet... I won't sugarcoat it because you'll eat that too."

"How do you turn a fox into a whale? Marry her."

"What do you call a woodland elf without any connecting plastic bricks to play with? Legolas"

"People can be so easy to read. Like if their face is red, they're embarrassed. Or if their skin is brown, they're about to commit a crime."

"The worst part about being a pedophile is trying to fit in."