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Joke of the Day

"When my friend takes shrooms, he instantly becomes the life of the party. What a fungi to be around."

"What do you say when comforting a grammar Nazi? There, their, they're"

"Just saw a boneless KFC commercial followed by an ad for apple flavored beer. Anyone remember when adults didn't act like five year olds?"

"I was gonna put on my cowboy hat and sit on my patio shirtless to showcase my abs when I realized I don't own a cowboy hat, a patio, or abs."

"I meant to call out a plumber to fix my blocked toilet, but forgot. I'm in deep shit now."

"Parents: Knock knock. Me: Who's there? Parents: Mom and dad. Me: Mom and dad who? Parents: Exactly, you're adopted son. ;'("

"There was this story on overcrowded animal shelters... I just couldn't put it down."

"1)Buy a plastic phone 2)Walk next to a stranger 3)Whisper into phone ""It's done. He's dead."" 4)Remove batteries & throw phone in a trash can"

"What do you get when you convince a gorilla to have sex with a pig? Fired from the zoo, apparently."

"Here's an example of a cliffhanger"