221626

Joke of the Day

"How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb? One but he must consult the DSM-IV."

"The girl at the table next to me is having a salad. Not as a starter, but as a main course like some kind of rabbit."

"How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman? None!"

"old people love to comment on news stories ""these are sad times we're living in"" like humans only recently started being pieces of shit"

"How did the pharmacist know his drink was spiked? He fainted after the punch line."

"The men who sarcastically ask women if they're on their period are completely ruining it for the rest of us who are genuinely curious."

"Twitter kidnapped my Tweets. I just posted 2 of them and they disappeared. I hope they're okay and are being treated well wherever they are."

"Fun Fact: The ""eye roll"" was created by Eve in the Garden of Eden within 15 min of her first conversation with Adam."

"Did you hear? There was an active shooter at the observatory! He was shooting for the stars!"

"(Waiter) ""What can I get you sir?"" (Gastronomist) ""Something with a simpler plot."""