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Joke of the Day

"The men who sarcastically ask women if they're on their period are completely ruining it for the rest of us who are genuinely curious."

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"The secrets of the baking industry are given out only on a knead to dough basis."
"My car starts to hydroplane. I let go & whisper, ""Do it. Become the plane you've always dreamed of. I love you."" *Soft kiss*"
"What two letters of the alphabet do snowmen prefer ? I.C. !"
"What did Caesar say when was in agreement? I came. I saw. I concurred."
"Me: I can't work today. Boss: Why? M: My grandma died. B: Our grandmas died 20 yrs ago. M: ... -Why working for your brother is a bad idea."
"Life without women would be a pain in the ass, literally."
"Mythology gags, anyone? What can kill you with a glance and goes ""Hittthhh""? The Basilisp."
"Q: Have you ever seen an elephant in a strawberry patch? A: Works pretty well, doesn't it?"
"I heard a backwards symphony coming from Beethoven's grave Turns out he's decomposing"