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Joke of the Day

"""Our teacher has a bad memory. For three days she asked us how much is two and two. We told her it was four. But she still doesn't know. Today she asked us again!"""

"My grandfather got his tongue shot off during WWII He never talked about it."

"What do you do if your girlfriend starts smoking? Slow down and use Lubricant."

"I called German UPS to ask them when they would ship my Rift.. They said, ""VR ready."""

"Why do carpets in white folk houses always need vacuuming? Crackers always leave crumbs."

"Son: Where are the Himalayas? Father: If you'd put things away you'd know where to find them."

"Do you want to hear a dirty joke? A: Do you want to hear a dirty joke? B: Ok A: A white horse fell in the mud."

"GOD: Go forth, my tiny friends! ANTS: Hooray! ANGEL: Ok next creation ... The anteater. ANTS: The what now?"

"Apparently you can make a career out of exhaling It's called a blowjob"

"Don't let anyone's hate, negativity, ignorance or drama stop you from being the asshole you strive to be."