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Joke of the Day
"The Beatles were so full of shit. They only used that yellow submarine residence for tax purposes."
Next Joke
"Why was Pluto's child unexpected? Because it didn't plan it."
"[1st date] me: do you want kids? her: Yes me: GREAT [pulls 7 babies out from under table] HERE'S MINE HAVE FUN GOTTA GO"
"I bought a new deodorant today. The instructions said ""open cap and push up bottom"". Now I can't walk but my farts smell awesome."
"Doctor doctor I'm so ugly. What can I do about it? Hire yourself out for Halloween parties."
"A man was afraid to go into Kohl's at the local strip mall because according to the sign: Kohls Staples Dicks"
"Researchers say men are 3 times more likely to be the first to say ""I love you"", than women. In our defence, ladies, we don't mean it"
"I didn't study for my Star Wars test.. So I'm getting Alderaan answers"
"How does a white girl prepare for the world? Basic training."
"Why can't you give Elsa a balloon? Because she'd just Let It Go. As told to me by my 5 year-old daughter"