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Joke of the Day

"Do people really expect to have a satisfying experience on a website that ends with "".gov""?"

"I guess it's good Hillary didn't win... It would be kinda awkward for her to be sitting behind the desk that Monica was under."

"Who comes in the fog? Seamen."

"Masturbation is like procrastination It feels good when you're doing it, but afterwards, you realized you fucked yourself"

"What do you call a turkey with Parkinson's Disease? Turkey Jerky"

"A man with Alzheimer's walks into a bar."

"What's Harry Potter's way to get to the bottom of a hill? Running . . . JK! Rolling"

"What did the girl mushroom say about the boy mushroom? He's a real fun-guy."

"""Got any drugs or alcohol on you?"" ""yup, I'm all set. Thanks Officer"""

"Hats were invented in 1784 when a Canadian was too polite to ask a raccoon to get off his head."