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Joke of the Day

"I guess it's good Hillary didn't win... It would be kinda awkward for her to be sitting behind the desk that Monica was under."

"Knock Knock Kid: knock knock Dad: Who's there? Kid: Hatch Dad: Hatch who? Kid: Bless You."

"How many redditors does it take to answer an /r/askscience question? [deleted]"

"""Stop putting words into my mouth!"" ""Fine, eat your alphabet soup by yourself."""

"I'd only marry someone if they seemed like they'd be pretty easygoing during our divorce."

"The band The Doors have decided to change their name after the next member dies It's gonna be Three Doors Down."

"Hey, Lucy! Does this rag smell like Chloroform to you?"

"Q: How you can tell if a ghoul was in your fridge? A: It leaves footprints in the butter."

"GF: You cant keep it. ME: But- G: Its a BEE. M: HES my FRIEND! G: Hand him over. M: No! [tearing up] I wont let you hurt Albuzz Bumbledore!"

"Why did the mountain climber quit halfway through his climb? He really wasn't feeling up to it."